she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
