some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How does one acquire holy water?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
