She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
