Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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