Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
