yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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