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i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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