ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
