i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
