I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
