He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
