Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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