i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
