took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
