I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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