I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
