Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
