Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
