It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
