Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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