Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
