at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Fuck appropriateness.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
