He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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