i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
