ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize