There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
