I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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