Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm having to shit out rocks
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