She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
