i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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