i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
