Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
