At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize