I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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