my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
