i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
