I'm passing your future prison.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
