If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
