so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
