well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
