Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
