I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
