sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
