Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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