please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
