Got a toothbrush?
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
