Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
