woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
