I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
