we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
