she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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