hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
