wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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