Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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