I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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