I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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