My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize