I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
