Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
