Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
