so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
